Now, if you’re 10 years into your homemaking journey or a natural boon for efficiency and systems this post might not be for you. If you’re a mother of littles, an “average jane” or if you’ve found yourself in a season of disorder and overwhelm and need a good starting point to get the wheels out of the mud, these things will help immensely.
Rather than overhauling your entire day with an hour-by-hour planner and task list in hand, I’m going to give you five things to focus on. The reason these 5 things are so special is because even if you do nothing else on your to-do list, you’ll have done a lot to keep your home running smoothly and your family well cared for. As someone who has wrestled with depression throughout the course of my life these 5 things (especially the 1 we aren’t counting) have helped me immensely during some of the hardest times.
Why “keystone” habits? Because a children’s television show with a British polar bear taught us about keystone species and it stuck with me.
In short, a keystone species is a species critical to the health and survival of other species within an ecosystem. Or an actual keystone is a stone at the summit of an arch (used in ancient architecture) that “locks” the structure together and keeps it from collapsing. With those things in mind, a keystone habit is a single habit that drastically affects multiple other functions and “locks” together the systems and structures of our home.
If nothing else it will help secure some sanity and direction when you feel completely frazzled and don’t know where to begin.
There's one big one I’m not going to count because I’m going to assume we’re already pursuing this but it’s has to be mentioned! Daily quiet time.
It doesn't have to be quiet, long or drawn out. Even if it's a few verses to meditate on as you go through your day and whispered prayers as you stir oatmeal, it matters. Leave your bible open in a spot you find yourself walking past multiple times a day. Daily coming to God requires discipline and some measure of sacrifice. It’s not always easy but it’s absolutely worth it. If we are not daily aligning our hearts and minds with God and his word then we will be swept away with the duties of each day relying upon our own will-power and reason; which doesn’t naturally tend toward godliness and selfless love. Our knowledge of God and His word affects how we tend to the mundane needs of life, but also how we pray, worship and have deeper fellowship with Him.
So with that being said, here are the 5 keystone habits to keep the ball rolling.
1. Make your bed
And have your children make theirs! Read any number of “Habit” books and you’ll always find making your bed named in the list of "life changing" habits to develop. Something to do with the psychological momentum that comes from accomplishing an easy task at the start of your day. Accomplishing tasks pings the reward centers of our brain. My personal reason, while decidedly less scientific, is still a good one: It makes your entire room look more orderly, even if it is a mess. Though, chances are, because your bed looks so nice you may also find yourself grabbing dirty laundry from the floor and clearing the nightstands while you’re at it. At the very least you’ll be less tempted to use your room as a dumping ground.
2. Dishes
I understand not everyone feels the same way I do about this, but if my sink is full of dirty dishes my kitchen feels dirty, even if the counters are in fact clear and the floor is swept. Also, one of my biggest pet peeves is waking up in the morning only to find the pot I need for breakfast is caked with food from yesterday and now I have to start my day with emergency dishes. Or dinner time rolls around, it’s been an especially trying day and the dishes I need to prepare the meal are dirty. If I have to wash dishes before I can get to food prep, I will be tempted to order dinner. Clean dishes means less visual chaos and easier meal times! Here’s my simple system: Each evening I wash the dishes from the day (or my wonderful husband does) and we load them into the dishwasher. Each morning while my coffee brews I swiftly unload the dishwasher. That way all of the things I need for that day are put away and IF I rinse my dishes after meals (which I'm not always as disciplined about) I can immediately load them and it takes all of 2 minutes.
3. Laundry
Every day. I don’t even care how. Maybe it means I wash, dry and put away the entire cycle in a day. More often than not it means one day I’m washing multiple loads and the next day folding and putting away. I say this to give you permission to do this in whatever way feels manageable to you. But if you are keeping laundry moving every day in some way, you won’t be living under a laundry avalanche and everyone has clean undies.
4. Get dressed and ready for the day
Another keystone habit that you can practice daily is getting dressed and ready first thing in the morning. It can be before or after breakfast. You can set clothes out the night before or grab your go-to pieces the day of. Again, whatever makes it work for YOU. Why is this a keystone habit? Aside from the simple fact that we feel better when we’re put together, being prepared for our day helps us to be more efficient. It’s easier to take an impromptu walk around the neighborhood with the kids if you’re all mostly dressed for the day. It feels better to answer the door if you're put together even if the children are fighting right behind you. If a friend calls in a favor or decides to drop by you’re not hunting for a bra or clean pants. This could be an outfit worthy of a boardroom meeting, or it could be a sweater and leggings with a ponytail, it’s whatever makes sense for you to be ready and productive for the day.
5. Meal plan
This one technically only requires weekly or bi-weekly effort. (Maybe monthly if you’re really hardcore..)
Do. Not. Make this difficult. I remember my early married years dreading “meal plan” days. I would haul out my cookbooks and open the rabbit hole that is Pinterest (do not recommend). I would sit there for a few hours trying to fill out meals and make ingredient lists and track quantities. I still shudder at the thought. I gave up all the fuss, but I still meal plan, usually using sticky notes and the notes app on my phone. Here’s the deal: If I don’t meal plan I’m going to spend more than I need to when I go grocery shopping. Not only that but I can almost guarantee you that food will spoil before I use it. Also, we’ll most likely eat out because there will be days that I haven’t given thought to dinner, the ingredients on hand are a mish-mash and its 5:00pm. Meal planning once a week or even once every 2 weeks sets you up for big success and less decision fatigue each day. Meal planning once a week or even once every 2 weeks sets you up for big success and less decision fatigue each day while saving a lot of time. Once you have your meal plan written out put it somewhere visible (like the front of the fridge) and each morning look over the plan for that day and maybe even the next so you can do whatever needs to be done to get dinner on the table. No more being surprised at 3:00 pm when you realize you forgot to put dinner in the crockpot at noon or forgot to pull the meat out to defrost. ahem..
While I won’t pretend to have all of these neatly nailed down and running like a well-oiled machine I can attest to their high impact results. These are the foundational habits that keep things movin’ and groovin’. These are the things I always return to first after babies are born, vacations are taken or we’re in a tough season. (All three of which have occurred this year!) If I do nothing else aside from these 5 things I know I’ve done much to keep us moving in the right direction!
Let me know what your “keystone” habits are. Which of these would you most like to improve?
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